| she rolls her eyes, and lights another |
[17 Jul 2007|01:28am] |
"one day, i'll quit these things,
they're killing me."
she blows her brains
right out her fucking mouth
i just don't know how you do it
well, there is nothing in me
that you don't have
deep within your fucking self
well, there is nothing in me
that you do not have
deep within your fucking self
yes, the body is weak
but the mind is stronger
it controls the body
you are not a slave.
and i am not a superhero!
you see, the difference between hard and impossible
well, it's a thousand miles wide
but that's not what you want to hear.
don't live a lifetime of regret.
is there a moment of uncomfort
never knowing, no, no, never knowing
how great it feels to be free
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|
| Wtf I cleaned my room. |
[18 Jan 2007|08:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 optimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Through Being Cool - Saves the Day |
] |
Yeah. Pappathan gave me a talk about school and somehow it kicked me into the gear of "Oh shit, I should really start doing shit. Now."
Maybe it was the part that Matt Culp was a failure in high school, so he's a failure in college.
Maybe it was the part that it isn't that hard.
Maybe it was the part that "If I can listen to music I can do anything."
So, know what I did when I got home?
I put on Saves the Day and Strung Out and cleaned my room. What's so fascinating about this is that I haven't cleaned my room like that probably ever in my life.
I did homework today, I'm going to finish the other 4 words and study when I get back.
Life has been nice. Thanks Anto, Thanks Adam, Thanks Saves the Day.
Thanks everything.
|
|
| Er? |
[11 Jan 2007|05:44pm] |
Guess what.
Idk.
I'm at Anto's and I have to like run home now that I notice it, 'cause it's Pasta Night.
FUCK I KEEP MISSING TRACK.
My day's have been nice, though, so yeah. Illin'.
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| Biology; 5th Period |
[08 Jan 2007|11:58am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
This Is Not An Exit - Saves the Day |
] |
Holy fuck I'm on LiveJournal. It's epic, I know.
But, yeah, I'm so bored. I'm in Biology listening to Saves the Day while Cho talks about the midterm.
The more I listen to Saves the Day the more I like them. I really gotta hand it to Adam, they're a great band. Props to him for getting me into them.
I had a talk with Tommy Keefe in shop today. He was saying how he wanted to go back in time and "Ask for a guitar for Christmas or something while I was, like, 6"
And the more I think about it, the more I wish I could do that, too, since I blow at guitar and I'm even worse at everything else. I really want musical talent, but I'm horribly impatient. I'm also basically incapable of practicing one thing until perfection.
Idk, I'll find out something.
I was also thinking of something else. Our brain flips everything we see right-side-up. Therefore, we're hanging off of the ground, aren't we?
I'm on a sidekick right now, though, and I can't really explain it, so I'll save myself the time of day.
I might start updating more often, to stay tuned.
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| At Culp's. |
[08 Aug 2006|05:42pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Some gay song Matt put on. |
] |
Today wasn't really special.
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|
[17 Jul 2006|11:54pm] |
|
I hate everything. I'm so mad. I hate everyone. Yes, you.
|
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| ... |
[17 Jul 2006|11:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sdfldjhasdfkjdsfhja |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Like Trumpets - With Honor |
] |
I don't want anything to do with myself.
I can't stand how I'm feeling.
I can't stand anything.
I don't want to feel this way.
I don't like myself right now.
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| You know.. |
[20 Jun 2006|03:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Meh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Song of Faith - Haste The Day |
] |
There's some people that if they died.. You think that only their immediate family would care. Lol, I think about that and it makes me laugh.
Finals were today. English was easy as shit. I finished first and just kinda.. hung out oustide. Then there was Geometry. Oh God, I fucking hated it. I swear I got no more than a 60. The room was definitely like 97 fucking degrees, Deb hogged the goddamn fan like she wasn't Brazilian and used to the goddamn heat. I didn't have a formula sheet when I apparently should have, so I couldn't answer half of the questions. So I just rushed with my guesses, cause I knew I couldn't do it. So, once again, I was the first finished.
Once again, I hung out outside again, and then I went to Adam's with Grace. Green showed up a little later and then Paul came. I miss him, and he misses here, so he says. We hung out for about an hour while I played Ninja Gaiden, and then Green and Adam went into Boston so they could meet Kelly and Sam. So, I walked home, and here I am.
People who are so full of inspiration piss me off. Like, there are so many quotes that contradict themselves and it just makes me wanna piss into the creator's mouth. It's disgusting, some of them. Like:
BE YOUNG, THINK SMART, STAY TRUE
&& Just Follow Your Heart ..
I'm never gonna follow my heart because it doesn't go anywhere, and my heart doesn't tell me things when I can just tell. I use my head before relationships, not my heart. I think things through and if it seems okay then I'll go for it. ..My last one, I just didn't have enough information to think through. >_< Another one being...:
"whatever happens, happens, & whatever
doesnt, shouldnt even matter"
Er, everything that hasn't happened that I expected to happen has affected me in some kind of way. That's just bullshit that you should even think that the if's don't matter. And shit that happens, sometimes you just can't blow it off so easily. Note that this quote was taken from somebody's profile, and I had to make it legible.
People make me mad too often.
|
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| >_ |
[19 Jun 2006|08:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Done |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hardly - Shai Hulud |
] |
Today was okay. Last full day of school. I'm not really gonna miss it that much. I'm just happy to be moving on, and stuff.
Seems a lot of things are just.. coming to an end.
But new beginnings are on the horizon.
So I'll just shut the fuck up and go to them.
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| FUCKING GREAT. THERE GOES MY PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND. |
[15 Jun 2006|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Fucking PISSED. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
False Idols Fall - Comeback Kid |
] |
Fucking bullshit. Fucking GAYYYYYYYY.
There goes my entire weekend. Right down the fucking drain.
THANKS, MOM! THANKS, APG! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY THAT YOU MAKE ME MISERABLE!
Me: "You don't think we could go up a little later?"
(By little I mean 2 hours)
Her: "NO! Why?!"
(She put extra emphasis on the no, like a bitch)
Me: "I have plans."
(Highlight of my weekend.)
Her: "I told you not to make plans!"
(No she didn't.)
Me: "I've HAD them since Monday."
(Maybe even earlier.)
Her: "You shouldn't have made plans."
(In other words, "I don't give a shit.")
Fucking gay, I hope I blow up in a roadside car-bombing.
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|
| Tomorrow had better own. |
[15 Jun 2006|02:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Bleh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Scornful Of The Motives And Virtues Of Others - Shai Hulud |
] |
Today was boring and uneventful.
I need to make up my research paper, or I fail 4th quarter English.
Tomorrow I'm not going to school, and hopefully Lisa's coming to Everett.
..That's all that's going on, and that's all that is on my mind.
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| Adam's night couldn't get any worse. |
[14 Jun 2006|09:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Nervous? |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Never Speak Again - Strung Out |
] |
Before I tell you about what happened today, you have to know what happened to my buddy Adam Desmond.
When we were leaving Lisa's house, he was going down the stairs and tripped, breaking the railing off. So her neighborkinda lady came out and got all assholey at us, and she was taking down Adam's name like she was gonna report him to the police or something gay.
Anyways, Sam's mom was driving us to the lake where we could meet my mom for a ride home. Now, Adam and I go right into the street like morons. I make it to the sidewalk and I hear the car skid. I look over and Adam rolled on the ground and gets up and throws his arms into the air like a referee judging a good field goal in football...
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
Anyways, today I finally went to school, and it wasn't that bad of a day. Easygoing, like I like it. And Adam and I ended up going into Wakefield to hang out with Lisa and Sam.
I kinda emoed out at Lisa's? And just.. laid down for an hour. And then we were laying down under her covers and her mom walks in and is like, "WTF?! GET OUT, ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS OUT, NO MORE FRIENDS COMING OVER, I'M DONE!"
....I feel like a douche. And her mom called her a slut afterwards.
..I feel like a wicked douche.
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|
| Slightly hypocritical...? |
[13 Jun 2006|10:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Hypocritical? |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tusk And Temper - Every Time I Die |
] |
Bah, I feel uncomfortable when Lisa talks about Arthur and Chris.
But.. I told her about a girl I was in love with before. Am I a hypocrite?
|
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| I think skipping school is going to turn into a habit. |
[13 Jun 2006|02:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Punch-Drunk Punk Rock Romance - Every Time I Die |
] |
Yesterday I didn't go to school, I just kinda left before homeroom. Pacheco and Green felt like leaving so I was like, "Whatver, what have I got to lose, it's all final reviews." So I left with them and went to Mike Addison's, and then into Harvard Square.
We met the Adams at Harvard Station, and Adam Desmond is suspended until finals. I was like "o_o" and ya. So we went to Mike Addison's again and then learned Adam and I were supposed to be in Wakefield. So we took the T to Wakefield and hung out with Lisa and Sam, and met their friends.
I then stole deodorant from CVS because I was running out of it at home. 8) I'm so cool. After that, we went to Lisa's and hung out, then we got a ride to Oak Grove from Sam's mom, then took the Shuttle Bus to Wellington, then the 110 home. My mom flipped out on me and I'm "Punished."
Whatever.
And today I woke up at 7:40, and I just decided not to go to school, cause I really didn't wanna rush, and it was probably Final Reviews again.
Whatever.
|
|
| Is |
[12 Jun 2006|05:24pm] |
@ Wakefield library. lol.
Salutations!
|
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| Testing |
[11 Jun 2006|11:40pm] |
1, 2, 3
One, two, three
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